


Two Coffins

by thefangirlingdead



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Angst, Character Death, Death, M/M, Memories, Reincarnation, Violence, chapter 57 spoilers, dont say i didnt warn you, i kind of dont know what to tag this as, its just sad as fuck okay, reaction fic, super spoiler heavy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 18:06:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1574714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefangirlingdead/pseuds/thefangirlingdead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a way, Levi always sort of knew that it would end like this. That if Erwin were to die, he’d be right at his side, going down with him. That if he were to fall, it would be at Erwin’s command.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Day Soon There'll be Nothing Left of You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> _Two coffins for sleep._   
>  _One for you, one for me._   
>  _We'll get there eventually._
> 
> _In the dark of our graves our bodies will decay._   
>  _I wish you'd never change._
> 
> _How lucky I ever was to see_  
>  _the way that you smiled at me._  
>  _Your little moon face shining bright at me._  
>  _One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me._  
>  \- [Two Coffins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbyzN2l-yh8) \- Against Me!  
> (I highly recommend listening to this song because it's amazing and because oh my god, feels)
> 
>  
> 
>  **A/N:**  
>  First off, _holy shit I am so sorry for all of this awful angst_.  
>  I've been having writers block on other stuff I've been working on, and then chapter 57 came out and I started freaking out because I'm genuinely concerned for Levi and Erwin's well being, and then this happened.
> 
> Pretty much, this is what I think Levi's reaction would be if Erwin were to die before him.

In a way, Levi always sort of knew that it would end like this. That if Erwin were to die, he’d be right at his side, going down with him. That if he were to fall, it would be at Erwin’s command.

What he doesn’t expect, however, is for Erwin to be the first to fall. Erwin, the man who's always been five steps ahead of everyone else. Who always knows the plan - always knows what the next move is - before Levi even has a chance to think about it. Erwin, the man who's still able to constantly surprise Levi even after they've known one another for the better part of a decade.

No, he doesn't expect Erwin - the man who's taken down countless titans, who _lost his arm_ and kept fighting - to die at the hands of another man. But things don't always turn out according to plan.

And even if getting captured by the Military Police - he went peacefully, after all - is part of Erwin's plan, dying at their hands is definitely not part of it. Or at least, Levi fucking hopes it isn't. Though he wouldn't put it past Erwin to plan his own death if it would be beneficial to everyone else. He just really fucking hopes not. He hopes that Erwin wouldn't be so selfless, so careless.

Because his life is _meaningful_ , god damn it. Because he's the one person that Levi has always been able to look to for the better part of a decade. Because he's the one person who Levi has always been able to trust, no questions asked. Sometimes, Levi thinks he'd walk straight into the mouth of a titan if Erwin asked him to.

Maybe that's why he has to be there to see it. Maybe not. Regardless of the reason - regardless of if it's part of Erwin's plan or not - Levi is still there, just a few meters away - when Erwin falls.

When Erwin is captured, Nile is the first person to reach out to Levi. He's the first person to let him know. And while Levi is uncertain as to what sort of deal Erwin has struck with Nile, he seems sincere when he promises Levi that he will find a way to return his Commander to him. He believes Nile, because when they speak, Nile gives him a note, obviously penned out in Erwin's awful chicken scratch writing, telling Levi to trust him.

And who would he be to disobey now, especially when Erwin needs him?

So Nile holds true to his word. He gets some of his men - some of the Military Police that can be trusted, _he promises_ \- to transport Erwin to their designated meeting place. And Levi trusts him. Because if Erwin does, then he should, too.

So Levi listens to Nile's instructions. He does as he's told, only bringing three other people with him, choosing Hanji, Mikasa and Armin for obvious reasons. And he shows up precisely when Nile tells him to, standing out in the open field - he thinks they chose it because it's wide and impossible to use 3DMG in - with his comrades at his side, waiting, always on guard, for the Military Police to return their Commander to them.

To return _his_ Commander to him. Because if he's being sentimental, he fucking misses Erwin. The man has been so absent lately, out planning their next move, making deals with dangerous men, risking his life for the good of humanity, that the two of them haven't even _seen_ eachother in what feels like weeks.

Levi can't help the deep breath he exhales when he finally sees the carriage rounding the corner. Two men ride at its side, another three behind it, and he can't help but feel just a _little_ off, because Nile had promised only four men. Distantly, Levi wishes that he had brought more of the squad along, just in case, but he knows that it was in their best interest to stay behind. Who knew what would have happened if he hadn't followed Nile's orders?

So he tries to shake the uneasiness from his chest as the carriage pulls to a stop a few meters away from the four of them. He takes a deep breath, glancing back at Hanji for reassurance as one of the riders dismounts, walking to open the doors and climb inside. Unfortunately, the look on her face doesn't help much. Hanji, usually the calm, confident one, looks worried as well. Anxious. Uneasy. She offers him a tight smile, and that's all.

And then they're pulling Erwin out of the carriage. Three more men follow behind him - and now they've more than _doubled_ the number that Nile had promised - but Levi stays calm. He does it for Erwin's sake. Because as long as this goes smoothly, they'll have him back.

Erwin doesn't look bad, and that makes Levi feel a little bit better. His hair is messy and his eyes are tired, but besides that and his 5 o'clock shadow, he looks good. He looks healthy. He even offers a smile - a _genuine_ smile - in Levi's direction as one of the men begins to undo the makeshift cuff holding his one arm behind his back, and that helps Levi feel a little bit better. Without realizing it, he takes a step forward, suddenly very anxious to have Erwin back.

"Stay where you are," One of the men calls - no, _commands_ \- from where he stands near Erwin, "We'll release him to you, and as soon as you have him back, we will go our separate ways. Do not attempt to come any closer and do not attempt to attack. Understood?"

And - despite his urge to bite something vile back in return - Levi manages a tight nod. "Understood."

Erwin nods as well, his eyes never leaving Levi's as he does so. And within seconds, Erwin's arm is free. Within seconds, one of the men is shoving at the small of Erwin's back with the butt of his rifle, and Erwin is taking a hesitant step forward. And when nothing happens, he nods again, walking faster, with purpose.

And for a moment, Levi lets the excitement rise in his chest. For a moment, he allows himself to smile, because while this isn't a big win by any means, it's a victory. _Because they have Erwin back._

And then everything seems to stand still.

Time seems to stop, because suddenly, a gunshot is ringing out in the air, clear and crisp. Birds in the nearby trees spook, flying off loudly and in different directions, but Levi doesn't pay attention to that. He doesn't even _care_ , because suddenly, he can't take his eyes off of Erwin.

Because suddenly, everything is crumbling down around him, as time almost slows to a stop. _Almost_ , except he can pinpoint the exact moment that Erwin's knees hit the ground. Everything is crystal clear - heightened tenfold - as Levi watches Erwin fall to the ground, blood staining the loose ends of his blonde hair, eyes vacant, wide. And still they never leave his own.

For a moment, Levi can't move. He's frozen, stock still, watching as Erwin falls, face bloody against vibrant green grass. For a moment, he wants to fall, too. He feels like he's the one who's been shot, his chest constricting, body stilling.

Because it's _Erwin_. Erwin's not supposed to die, not like this, not here, not now. Not before Levi can lay down his life for him first. Because Levi _owes_ him. Because if it weren't for Erwin, he wouldn't be alive. Because if it weren't for Erwin, he wouldn't have anything to fight for.

Because he owes Erwin. Because he _loves_ Erwin.

And then suddenly, everything is moving fast, far _far_ too fast.

Despite the lack of trees, Levi draws the blades of his maneuver gear, directly ignoring and disobeying Hanji's orders to _stop_ - _"Stop Levi, no don’t-!" -_ and fires the grapple, hooking it easily onto the wood of the carriage. Within seconds, he's flying forward, and before any of the Military Police have a chance to react - to aim or fire their weapons - he's lunging forward, slicing easily into the throat of the closest man to him - the man who had shot Erwin.

_One down, eight to go, or he'll go down swinging._

The body falls before Levi even lands, and by the time he does, another man is aiming his gun directly at his head. And he tries, he really does, but he's too slow for Levi, who disarms him quickly, knocking him to the ground before piercing a blade through his chest.

And he doesn't even care about the thick deep blood that coats the metal of his blades or his hands or his uniform, sticky and permanent. No, he can't bring himself to care, because time is moving quickly - everything is moving quickly - and Erwin is _dead_ , lying close behind him in the grass.

And Levi _swears_ that he'll kill every last one of them or die trying.

He's not surprised that Hanji and the others don't help, either. While he catches Mikasa, out of the corner of his eye, running toward him, Hanji stops her. She has to. Because with Erwin dead, she's next in command, and she can't allow their soldiers to throw their lives away so recklessly.

But Levi _can_. Because without _Erwin_ , he finds that he just doesn't fucking _care_.

He fights with a fire, though, one that hasn't ignited in his bones for a very, _very_ long time. And he moves fast, easily disarming yet another officer, using his own gun to kill him, barrel pressed flush up against his skull. And he _keeps_ fighting, even when he manages to snap one of his blades in half. He keeps using the jagged, broken end, stabbing it into the gut of a fourth man, twisting it viciously before ripping it out at an ugly angle, watching his blood spill to the ground.

_Four down_.

And he _keeps_ fighting, flecks of blood staining his cravat and his jacket and his face. It isn't until his sixth opponent that Levi struggles. Because he's big, more than twice Levi's size, and manages to snap his other blade with his gun and brute strength, forcing Levi into fighting in close quarters. But he keeps fighting.

_He keeps fighting_ \- for Erwin, for Farlan, for Isabel, for every fallen solider and every fallen friend that he couldn't help because _he was just too late_ \- until he feels another hand on his shoulder. Until he feels the sharp, shooting pain, like lightning through his back. Until the blade - _his own broken blade_ \- pierces through his stomach, just under his ribs. And isn't that just  _poetic_ _?_

And he swears he hears someone - is it Hanji, maybe Mikasa? - screaming his name. And he tries to look up, tries to tell them that it's okay, that they need to _get out of there_ , but he can't. Suddenly, time seems to slow down again.

Everything is slow as the man - a Military Police officer that Levi's never even seen before - twists the blade inside of him, ripping it out roughly as Levi had just done to another man only moments before.

The man says something to him - sneers something about  _humanities strongest_ \- but he doesn't hear it. He can't, over the sudden ringing in his ears as everything goes silent. And he doesn't even try to fight it as the man lets him fall roughly to the ground, because _this is it._ He coughs, and can taste the metallic iron of blood in his mouth, dripping down his chin.

And he knows he only has a few moments left, but somehow, Levi manages to keep his eyes open. Somehow, he manages to glance to his side, eyes landing on Erwin's lifeless figure lying in the grass next to him, close enough to touch. And yeah, it's sentimental, and maybe it's a little pathetic, but Levi can't help as he reaches out with his last bit of strength, fingers grasping onto Erwin's hand, eyes gazing into his Commander's vacant and lifeless ones.

And they say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes. Levi is no exception to this, but he doesn't see his entire life. No, instead, he sees Erwin. _Erwin_ , reaching a hand out to him in the pouring rain when nobody else would. Erwin, trusting him when he shouldn't have, believing him when he could have just let him die.

He sees Erwin shooting him a smile over his desk, offering him company when he'd felt the loneliest, giving him friendship when he needed it the most. And, as those memories flash through Levi eyes, he can't help but ache for more. He'd always felt it, but it's even stronger now, in these last moment, fingers gripping onto Erwin's.

Because there's so much he never got to do. He never got to see the ocean with Erwin, never got to ride out of the walls by his side without the threat of titans looming over their heads. He never got to hold him when he'd wanted to most. Never got to kiss him and taste the freedom and sea salt on his lips.

Though if it has to end, he'd prefer it like this, at Erwin's side, fingers laced together. Because somehow, Levi always knew it would end this way.


	2. You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _If you must die, sweetheart_  
>  _Die knowing your life was my life's best part_  
>  _And if you must die,_  
>  _Remember your life_  
>  \- [You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2fCcggNkTs) \- Keaton Henson
> 
> **A/N:**  
>  OH HEY! Here's the happy ending. Please don't hate me, I hated killing these two.  
> As always, you can follow me on tumblr for updates on future old men fics at [thefangirlingdead](http://thefangirlingdead.tumblr.com/).

Levi can't decide if the worst part is that he can vividly remember every last detail of his past live when he closes his eyes - even down to those last bloody minutes - or if it's the fact that no matter how long, how hard, he searches, he can't seem to find Erwin in this one.

In the back of his head, Levi's always known, even when he was little. He's always seen little flashes of his past life behind closed eyes or in his dreams, but it isn't until he gets a little bit older that he fully understands what it means. It isn't until he doesn't _grow out of it_ that he's certain that they're memories. Because the images in his head are much too strong to be dreams.

And he can't decide if it's worse that he remembers his own death - _Erwin's_ death - or if it's worse that he can't seem to find the one person that he wants to reconnect with more than anyone else.

Distantly, Levi wonders if Erwin is looking for him, too. He wonders if Erwin remembers. If he was even reborn into this world, or if he's just as unlucky in this life as he was in his past one - if he's here alone, never to find Erwin again. But he searches. He can't help it. And he also can't help the heaviness in his chest when he looks for Erwin in the face of every tall blonde man in a crowd, only to come home empty-handed.

Because in this past life - the one that physically _pains_ him to think about - they never had the _time_. Even _if_ Erwin had returned his feelings for him - feelings that Levi had never voiced or acted upon until it was too late - they never would have had the time. They were busy fighting for humanity, for the good of everyone else. They didn't have time for petty things like relationships and stolen kisses or quick fucks or _love_.

But this life? This life is _easy_ compared to that. Because while Levi isn't well off by any means - he lives in a tiny apartment in the shitty part of town by himself - this life is still easier than his last. This time around, he has the time to worry about love, to worry about _Erwin_ , and maybe _that's_ the worst part.

Because no matter how much he remembers about Erwin, no matter how many times he wakes up with the man's name on his lips, his image in his head, he can't act on it. No matter how much he searches for his face in the crowd, he can't find it. And even if he did, what would happen? What if Erwin didn't remember? What if Levi was cursed with the awful memories and Erwin hadn't been burdened with them?

Or what if he did remember, but didn't return Levi's feelings?

Those are the thoughts that keep Levi up most nights, forcing him to toss and turn or choke down some sleeping pills until his eyes are too heavy to hold open. Those are the thoughts that plague him every day at work when it's not busy, when he has time to himself, and those are the thoughts that plague him on his bus ride home.

Those are the thoughts that cause him to walk quickly, with his head down, avoiding eye contact with anyone on his way home from work, because he’s sick - _so fucking sick_ \- of scanning faces in the crowd, hoping to find Erwin's and seeing nothing but strangers. And those are the thoughts that distract him one evening as he walks home, enough so that he actually bumps into a stranger on the street, effectively knocking a folder out of the man's hands, causing papers to go scattering across the busy city street.

And for a moment, Levi almost keeps walking - because _who cares_ \- but for some reason, he stops. Maybe it's because it will keep those thoughts out of his head for a few seconds, or maybe it's because he feels obligated to help the stranger, but either way, he finds himself turning around after a second, muttering out a _"sorry"_ , crouching down halfheartedly to help him.

And then he's freezing, because upon picking up the first paper, his eyes land on the header on the top of the page. On the _name_ at the top of the page.

_Erwin Smith_.

_No_ , he shakes the thought out of his head. It's not Erwin, not _his_ Erwin. Because _Smith_ is a very common last name and the last time he saw Erwin, he was lying bloody in tall, green grass, eyes vacant and empty. Because he's been searching for Erwin for _years_ , and there's no way that it was this easy all along. There's no way that he's this lucky.

So he tries to shake the thought from his head, but he can't help but the hope in his heart when he glances up at the man in front of him.

The first thing that he notices are his eyes. While they're not looking at him - they're fixated on the ground, on where he grabs at loose papers, shoving them back in the folder while avoiding the careless feet of passers-by - they're the same sea-blue eyes that Levi remembers. They're the same eyes that he'd seen just before everything went black, only now, _now_ they're very much alive.

And he freezes. He can't help it, because after _years_ of searching, years of thinking that maybe he's just crazy, maybe he's imagining all of it, maybe he won't be lucky enough to find Erwin again in this life, _here he is_. And Levi doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to respond.

He freezes, because what if Erwin doesn't remember? What then? He knows that _now_ , if Erwin doesn't remember him, it might just break his heart. And Levi isn't a sentimental man, but it's the truth.

So he freezes, fingers trembling as he looks down at Erwin, thoughts swarming in his head.

_He's here. He's really here. It's him and he's real. You didn't imagine him, you didn't imagine it. It was all real, it really happened, and he's here. He's finally here. You have to say something Levi, fucking say something, don't let him get away, not again-_

And finally, he manages to find his voice. It's small and shaky, but it's something.

"Erwin?"

"Yeah?" He asks in return, without missing a beat, and the voice is like an arrow to Levi's chest. It's really him. The same Erwin. Same face, same name, same _voice_. But he doesn't look up. Instead, he keeps picking up the papers, and _that_ worries Levi.

But somehow, he manages to clear his throat, trying one more time.

" _Erwin_." His voice comes out a little sturdier, more commanding, and that seems to do the trick. Erwin pauses, hand outstretched toward a piece of paper, and _finally_ he looks up, eyes landing on Levi's.

And, much like the last time he saw Erwin, time seems to stand still. He sucks in a breath, stilling, and waits. Because what if Erwin doesn't remember him? What if he doesn't feel the same? What if -

_"Levi."_

And then his thoughts are cut short because _Erwin is saying his name_. He's in front of him, looking at him, and that's definitely his name on Erwin's lips. He's not imagining things, this is real, this is-

"Hey," He manages to mutter, even through the shock and adrenaline and the flood of emotions coursing through his veins _because Erwin remembers_. And he even manages to throw a smile in there. It's small and tentative, but it's a smile, and thankfully, Erwin returns it.

And then, Erwin is moving. It's all too fast for Levi while he's still trying to process _everything_ , but suddenly, there's a hand on his cheek and then there are lips - lips he's imagined for months, _years_ \- pressing up against his own. They're soft and gentle and everything Levi wanted, but there's also a neediness behind them, in the way that Erwin presses against Levi like he's been waiting a long time to do it, too. And it takes a moment for Levi to register what's happening, but after a few seconds he manages to press back into the kiss. His lips are desperate and needy and distantly, he's embarrassed about it, but he can't help it. Not now. Not while he's been waiting so long for this.

When they finally part, Levi half expects Erwin to pull away, but instead, the other man leans forward, pressing his face into Levi's neck, and holds him close. And Levi, of course, doesn't fight it, ignoring the people walking around them, the sounds of the busy street next to them. For a moment, it's just the two of them, how it was always meant to be.

As always, Erwin is the first to speak. "I missed you," He murmurs, voice is soft, softer than Levi's ever heard it before, and he can't help the smile that finds its place on his face when he speaks.

" _Fuck_ , Erwin," He mutters, pressing his face into the other man's shoulder, "You have no idea."

And finally, Erwin pulls away. His eyes never leave Levi's, even as he stands, offering his hand to help Levi up. And, as always, Levi takes it. Suddenly, the papers in the street are unimportant. Levi watches out of the corner of his eye as they blow away in the wind, while Erwin doesn't even spare them a second glance. No, his eyes never leave Levi.

"Do you remember everything?" Erwin asks quietly, catching Levi's attention again and forcing him to look up again. And suddenly, Levi doesn't know how he lasted over twenty years without him.

He nods, once, shallow. "Yeah," He mutters.

Erwin's face falls, and Levi wishes that he didn't see it. Because Erwin shouldn't be worrying about that now. Because that was a lifetime ago, and Levi knows what he's thinking about, why he looks so upset. "I'm sorry-" He begins to murmur, but Levi cuts him off.

" _Don't_ ," He mutters, voice weak, "Don't. Please, Erwin."

And thankfully, Erwin listens. Because Levi doesn't want him to apologize for the way that things ended. Because if he's being honest, they were always going to end that way. He nods, "How long did you... After-?"

Levi snorts. "About ten minutes. I couldn't just let them-" He chokes on his words, the memories flooding back to him. The rage, the grief, the regret. He averts his eyes, and then suddenly, there's a pair of strong, warm arms wrapping around him, pulling him close. And for a moment, he allows the comfortable silence to fall between them, pressing his head into Erwin's chest and closing his eyes.

Even now, in a different life, Erwin still smells the same, still feels the same. He's the same person, all back in one piece, very much alive in front of him, holding him close, and Levi doesn't know how he got so lucky.

"Did you always-?" He begins to ask, pulling away slightly to look up at Erwin. Because part of him wants to - needs to - know if Erwin had always felt the same, but he isn't sure how to voice it. He doesn't know what to say, because everything is happening so suddenly...

"I think so, yeah," Erwin answers, catching onto Levi's half-asked question, "I don't think I really _knew_ until the end - when I saw you on the other end of the field - but yeah. _Yeah_."

Levi chokes out a bitter laugh. "We were really fucking terrible at love."

And the word leaves his lips easily. It doesn't even catch him by surprise when he says it, because if he's being honest, it's been floating around in his head since a lifetime ago, he's just only gotten the chance to use it now.

Erwin leans down at that, cupping Levi's chin with one of his hands, and the smile that he gives him is positively _warm_. Easy. It's everything that Levi has been waiting for. "We have time now," Erwin murmurs softly, and at that, he's leaning in again, pressing another soft, warm kiss to Levi's lips.

And this time, Levi's ready for it. This time, his arms find themselves around the back of Erwin's neck, fingers lacing together behind him. Levi leans up on his toes into the kiss, and once again, for a moment, it's just the two of them. The world around them disappears and for a moment, it's just _Erwin and Levi_.

And he may not taste like sea salt, but he definitely tastes like freedom, and Levi can't get enough.

When they _do_ eventually part, Levi eases back down onto his heels, eyes closed, movements slow. It takes him a moment to come back down to earth, and when he finally does - when he finally opens his eyes - Erwin smiles down at him.

"Come home with me," Erwin mummers softly, and who would Levi be to refuse?

"Okay, Erwin," He returns, breathless, voice light, easy.

He reaches down, and takes Erwin's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I told you there was a happy ending! Hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be a one-shot, but I wrote a second chapter and turned it into a sad angsty reincarnation AU because I can't bear to write a sad ending. But if you're a sick fuck (like me) and can handle reading sad endings, you can definitely read the first chapter as a one-shot and not bother with the second half.
> 
> If you're mad at me for writing this terrible sad chapter, the second half should be up soon!


End file.
